LIVEALITTLE

13/12/06 update: I learned today that I can seriously hurt people with my blog. I had all the intentions of making the victim of this entry anonymous and further expand on my sincere feelings of concern for his health despite my anger. In truth, I do seriously want the best for my friends. I seriously do want you to be happy and to live long fulfilling lives in whatever way you want. Everyone's different and interprets life in various ways. I need to understand that and not impose every time I think I have the "vaccine". I surely hope a relationship can not simply be altered by an honest entry in a blog. All of this could have been avoided if both parties communicated effectively. I respect this as a lesson learned and hope that this will redeem me from the horrible things written earlier.

// posted by LIVEALITTLE @ 3:06 AM 0 comments

So now I'm more than half way through exam hell and uni hell. My last day of this uni tenure is November 14, 2007. Never before have I been this stressed. Who would have thought such a caring, considerate and giving occupation would be so hazardous to your health? I blanked out and got SO tired for my second exam two days ago that I put my head in my hand and took a 1 minute nap when I had no clue about 5 consecutive questions. Today, I took my OSCA (Objectively Structured Criteria Assessment). It's a poor attempt to make the nursing skills exam sound witty. Believe you me, it was not funny at all. My classmates and I have nicked so much equipment from the uni hospitals that we are able to set up our own! Of course, we will return our scavangings. Well, I freaked out when I realized I had not trimmed my nails prior to the exam. I pined to not get any surgical scenerios for fear I may puncture the sterile gloves. So I was elated when I got assigned to manage a patient with respiratory problems and respond to a visitor who collapses from cardiac arrest. I had tried to write as many notes and brain dump as much as I could during our 10 minutes of reading time (this is the FIRST time I appreciated the 10 minutes of pre-exam reading time). But given all the previous students' convos and experiences, I felt so pressured for time that I rushed through alot. I forgot to even press the Emergency button when I had to attend to the CPR patient. The assessor had me do 3 cycles (3 minutes) of CPR before pulse returned as punishment for constantly looking at her for prompts and being insecure. I got SOO dizzy from doing compressions I tipsied myself upright.
I can't wait to be competent one day!
Here are the OSCA guidelines for future reference if I ever want to relive this horrid experience:

I'm an auntie again! It's so funny coz I was watching them on the web cam last night but didn't call coz mom was rushing around in the morning to get my niece out for a day at the park as it was the first clear day in a while. Before I went to sleep, I took another look on the webcam and saw my sister-in-law typing away, put down her laptop, pace the floor for a bit, then rummage for her cell. I presumed it was a work-related call and turned in for the night. It was the CALL TO MY BROTHER about her contractions! I could have SO called to console her!

Now I can't recall if I was this emotional about my first niece, but this second niece has made me quite teary (in a very happy way). Maybe it's because Bob is singing something beautiful in the background. Maybe it's because I'm not there to welcome Sydney to the world. Maybe it's because she's named Sydney so my wonderful "Sydney" saga will always have a place in my heart (BTW, there will yet be another "Sydney" when we bring V's cat over from NZ in January). Maybe it's because I'd been searching for the last month of a Sydney city picture/moment to capture for the Lonely Planet photo competition and couldn't find it ... but have found it in New York...

Oddly, I feel like a proud dad.

My Lonely Planet Sydney photo submission (I'm #307): http://thorntree.lonelyplanet.com/messagepost.cfm?postaction=reply&catid=55&threadid=1210432&messid=10481896&STARTPAGE=16&parentid=0&from=14

I had a feeling my favorite holiday of the year was going stink here in Sydney. There were no signs of pumpkins so we settled for a squash pumpkin thing which wasn't hollow and contained seeds which didn't even roast properly.
Worse yet, I got blacklisted for the first time. See, I'd been working as a casual assistant nurse. So, I call them with my available times on a weekly basis. If there is availability then they would contact me and I would show up for a shift. For pretty much this entire semester, I had no calls for shifts. I didn't think much of it and decided to focus on my studies instead. Curiosity caught me today so I inquired about the reason for lack of shifts this semester. The lady on the other end of the line responded "There is a note attached to your record. It says: "has no initiative"."
It was then I recalled an incident which occurred about three months ago during shift. It left such a bad taste in my mouth I even wrote an essay about it for my Nursing Relationships class. It was a fluff class but I decided to use this incident to help me gain closure. In a nutshell, I was assigned to work with a disorganized, new RN who wanted me to wait for her to be organized before initiating work. This other nurse came by and remarked I lacked initiative since I had not started on showers for patients yet. Her language was harsh and in an abrasive tone. I took offense and responded back. For details: my essay.
Well, I thought I had gained closure by delving deep into myself for this essay, but the revelation from my agency shattered the closure and has made me feel like shit. I haven't even finished my degree and already someone has labelled me incompetent. It just feels so unfair. I aim to take this case up to HR but it's been so long the nurse probably won't remember me. I definitely don't recall what she looks like...
I hope I've still made the right decision...
Pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/livealittle/sets/72157594355482309/